Never fail to show love and care to your kids
If you currently have young children, never fail to always show to them that you adore and care for them. Don't forget to say I love you and let them hear and feel it. Show them your care and support more than before. Encourage their pastimes and go to their school presentations, sports tournaments, and other activities, as much as possible. Lastly, talk to your little ones daily. This may not completely make up your absence at your home, but it will truly let them feel that they have a father who always care for them.
Accept your circumstances
To help you deal with separation, you should be honest with yourself. You should not pretend things are exactly the same. Avoid being passive. Speak with your wife when there is something you need to talk about or vice-versa. Be truthful to your kids, too, especially when they ask. Never tell lies or make excuses. Be honest in the most tactful way possible since your children are also going through the circumstances as much as you are.
Show respect to your children's mother
Even with compounded sentiments, you still need to respect your children's mom. After all, she is their mom and that's how things will be, so do not attempt to destroy that essential mother-children bond. If you would like to develop a good relationship with your kids, simply be loving and encouraging instead of ruining their mom just to win their sympathy.
Be committed to your monetary obligations to your child
After the legal separation process, you are required by law to provide for your children financially. Apart from that, being faithful to your financial obligation to your kids can pave the way for reconciliation in the future, particularly when finances have been a problem. Utilize this moment as your chance to prove that you are financially responsible and reliable.
Be committed to your other duties to your kids
Apart from your financial responsibility and the consistent love and concern you give to your kids, you must stay committed to your other responsibilities. Simple acts such as picking your children from home or school on time should be done. Visiting schedules and quality time with children must be faithfully observed. Last but not the least, do not make promises to your kids you are not certain you can make. Do not get their hopes up too high or you will only end up frustrating them, which will only give them a harder time dealing with the family situation.
Examine and improve yourself
You and your partner may have chosen legal separation rather than a divorce because of certain problems that may still be reconcilable. This is the perfect time for you to personally reflect and see just how you did your part as a husband as well as a dad. Accept your weaknesses and problems, however be thankful about your positive characteristics. Learn how you can develop yourself, your marital life, and your family to give your marriage another chance.
Don't over-expect
A lot of legal separations ultimately result in divorce, thus it would be better to set realistic expectations. Nevertheless, this doesn't mean that you should have a mindset that this situation will ultimately result in divorce. Of course, you should make an effort to make your situation work and you still need to hope for a better family, but just to help you cope with separation, do not set unrealistic expectations.
Find better ways to care for yourself
Last but not the least, taking care of yourself will help you cope with separation. It could bring about positive improvements along with a hopeful start for you. Eating healthy, getting enough rest, not stressing out, pursuing sports, going out occasionally with peers, quitting bad habits such as smoking or drinking too much, and keeping the house clean, will help you cope with the situation and start a whole new you.
Separation is a situation you can't evade, and so you must do something about it. You can use your coming days to make your life completely miserable or consider this an opportunity to make things better and start a new you. You choose.
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Written by Patricia Strasser. For more helpful marriage advice for men, please visit http://www.lightherup.com
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